Monatrice & Doula

Why would I need a doula when my partner/husband is prepared and wants to support me?

This can be a tough question to answer. It is true that the partner knows the mother well and has a very intimate connection with her and the baby; however the partner is also very emotionally involved, most likely not an experienced birth attendant and may benefit from some support, reassurance and guidance him/herself. Many parents have expressed concern that a doula will take away from the partner's role or experience. On the contrary, doulas want the partner to be intimately involved and work to keep the couple connected throughout the labor. Ideally, the partner and doula working together create the ultimate support team.

It is also important to realize that there are some unique elements that a doula can bring to the birth that may be difficult for a husband or partner:

• Experience. A seasoned doula has usually attended dozens, sometimes hundreds of births and can draw upon those experiences to guide her support. A newer doula has read countless books and websites, attended a training(s), and/or watched birth films and is knowledgeable and eager to help. For the partner, the birth is likely the first or one of a small number, so it may be difficult for him/her to establish a helpful frame of reference. Situations such as a baby in an awkward position, a mother battling nausea, a mother who panics, or other unexpected events, are likely situations that the doula has seen in the past and has learned various methods that can help.
• Instinct. Many doulas have had children of their own and have a love and passion for birth and helping other women have a positive experience. Attending many births and/or having given birth to her own children gives a doula a powerful personal experience from which to draw ideas and tools for support. Often, though not always, it is easier for women, especially those who have gone through it, to instinctively know how to support a laboring woman than it is for men.
• Objectivity. A doula will be able to maintain a bit more emotional distance in the midst of the passion and intensity of labor than a husband or partner. It’s not that she doesn’t care about the laboring mother, but rather that she is able to take a step back and look at the bigger picture, keeping a more objective viewpoint. This will help her provide the information that parents need to make a decision based on evidence and experience rather than out of emotions or fear. Parents who are given tools to be at the center of the decision-making at every step of the labor and birth process are more likely to come out on the other side feeling respected and cared for. This will create a joyful and positive experience and get the family off to a healthy start.

If a mother does not have a partner or other support person, the doula’s role possibly becomes even more critical, ensuring that the laboring mother will never have a moment when she will face her labor alone.

I plan to have an epidural or I may need a cesarean; is a doula still necessary?
No matter what your plans are for labor and delivery, it can be very beneficial to have an experienced, professional person with you whose primary task is to provide you with information and support. Sometimes suggestions, positions changes or a comforting face can make all the difference. These questions are great starting points for conversations that can help educate parents, not only about the role of support for labor, but also can lead to conversations about pain management options, what labor is like as it progresses, what to expect at their birth place, how to find support following the birth and so much more.